


Double Date

by Crysania



Series: Fluffapalooza 2015 [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 05:10:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3344798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crysania/pseuds/Crysania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for my sentence-starter prompt-a-thon for Fluffapalooza 2015. "If there was a hell, Rumplestiltskin was sure it was double date night with the Charmings."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Date

If there was a hell, Rumplestiltskin was sure it was double date night with the Charmings. He wasn’t even sure how he had gotten talked into it, but he was fairly certain it had something to do with _later_ and a negligee that showed more than it didn’t and a smirk that did things to his insides. He was putty in Belle’s hands really.

And so here he was.

Heading to Granny’s with the most beautiful woman in the world on his arm. And getting ready to meet up with the bloody Charmings.

_But you’re the only other married couple we know! But we want to get to know you! But but but…_

They knew him. They probably knew him better than he’d like for them to know him. _It’s for Belle,_ he kept telling himself. Belle who the town only knew as the wife of the Dark One, the one who almost no one seemed to want to really get to know.

Sometimes the Charmings weren’t so useless after all. Even if they were rather irritating.

They were already there when he and Belle arrived and he saw Snow rather too enthusiastically wave them over. Rumplestiltskin groaned. Belle elbowed him in the ribs. “Be nice,” she warned.

With a sigh, he allowed her to lead him over to their table. Snow stood as they arrived, greeting Belle with a hug. When she stepped closer to him, he stepped back and her arms awkwardly fell to her side.

“Sorry,” Belle said and pinched him just a little too hard on the arm. “Rumple’s not exactly the hugging type.”

“Right,” Snow said and he wondered if pregnancy hormones had really turned her brain to mush or if she had simply forgotten who the hell he was. He cocked his head to the side as he studied her. He had heard the term “pregnancy brain” before, of course, but he had never seen it in full force before.

It was interesting, to say the least.

Most of the dinner went fairly well. He managed to launch only a couple barbs toward the Charmings and was rewarded once with Belle’s elbow and the second time with a sharp heel digging into his instep. She did it with a smile and he laughed off the pain. He got some odd looks from the pair sitting opposite him, but that was not exactly out of the ordinary.

So he was pretty sure that they would manage to escape this little dinner pretty much unscathed based on the rather boring and insipid conversation he had to deal with so far ( _but they want to get to know you!_ Ha, he knew better than that!). But then dessert came, and Charming leaned forward and looked to Snow for a second and they both looked like they were scared to speak.

Of course.

They wanted something. They _always_ wanted something.

No one invited the Dark One out for dinner unless they wanted to make nice to get what they wanted out of him.

“I knew it!” Rumplestiltskin exclaimed, pointing a finger at them.

“What?” Snow asked and she looked horribly confused.

“I knew you wanted a deal.”

“Rumple,” Belle said under her breath.

“No,” Charming said quickly. “No we don’t…”

“Really dearie? Then why this whole charade?” He waved a hand around him and his voice might have gotten the attention of most of the patrons of the diner.

“Rumple,” Belle repeated.

“Oh great,” Snow said, her face red.

Charming just looked around at the diner and back to Rumplestiltskin. “Can’t you do anything about them?”

“No.” And the smile on his face surely must have looked quite feral to the prince. “What exactly is it that you want?”

“Ok look,” Charming said and leaned forward. He glanced around the room again and the spoke, his voice lowered, almost a whisper. “You guys are pretty happy, right?”

“Well, I think so, yes,” Rumplestiltskin said and turned to Belle.

She gave him an equally confusing look. “Yes. We are.”

“Ok so look…we’ve been having… _trouble_ …since the baby was born.” Charming looked so dead serious, his eyes going first to Rumplestiltskin and then to Belle. “And we hear rumors about you guys…”

“Oh God,” Snow said. “I knew this was a bad idea.”

“No, no,” Charming said and reached out to touch her hand. “It was a good one.”

“You won’t hear me say this often,” Rumplestiltskin said, leaning forward a little himself. “But I think Snow White is right.”

“Rumple,” Belle said and this time it was accompanied by a roll of the eyes and that look. He knew that look. It meant that the negligee was going back into the closet unless he behaved. Damned woman knew how to strike a deal at least as well as he did.

“Ok fine. What exactly is it that you wanted to know?” He was trying not to look impatient and annoyed, but sometimes that was really really hard when it came to these folks.

 

“Just…how _do_ you keep the spark alive?” Snow responded with and then clapped her hand over her mouth, face bright red, eyes looking anywhere but at the couple in front of her.

Rumplestiltskin smirked. “Well, it does help having the most beautiful woman in town on my arm.”

“Rumple,” Belle responded with and hit his arm lightly. But he could tell from the way she bit her lip and smiled she was trying to hide that she enjoyed the compliment.

“You compliment her…always,” he went on to say.

Belle nodded. “And breakfast in bed is always appreciated.”

“Foot rubs,” Rumplestiltskin offered and tried not to notice that Charming was writing the words down as he spoke.

“Back massages,” Belle said. “Oh! And kissing. A lot of kissing.”

He watched as Charming squirmed at that and smirked. “With tongue, of course.” He watched the man turn bright red. “But not too much tongue. You don’t want her to think you’re a dog licking her face or anything.”

He leaned back and glanced over at Belle, quite enjoying the way she was eying him.

“Is that…” Snow started to say. She took a deep breath. “Is that all?”

 _Oh she really did_ not _want to ask him that._

“Of course not,” Belle answered quickly. “Soft music, a little candlelight…”

“Oral sex,” Rumplestiltskin tossed in and was gratified to hear Snow let out a little squeak.

“Well, yes. There is that,” Belle answered. “And toys,” she tossed in. “Those can help too.”

“Oh God,” Snow said.

“There’s a shop around the corner, dearie,” Rumplestiltskin pointed out. “I’m sure you and the dear prince could find _something_ there to, shall we say, spice things up.”

“We don’t need spicy,” Charming pointed out.

“You wanted spark,” Rumplestiltskin said with a slight pout.

“Rumple, did you tell them about the handcuffs?”

“You know,” Snow suddenly said, “I think we’re just about ready to go. We’ll, um…pay at the counter.” She grabbed Charming’s hand and the two of them left, heads slightly down as they rushed from the diner.

Belle leaned over to Rumplestiltskin. “Do you think they’re embarrassed or aroused?”

Rumplestiltskin shrugged. “Hard to tell, darling.” As Belle let out a laugh, he learned close to her. “So about that negligee you promised to wear later…”


End file.
